We were walking through the neighborhood, by the old pond that smells like algae. We were talking, like we do, and the kid started: “Hey dad. In Plants vs. Zombies …”

I stopped him right there and I explained that he had to quit, quit, quit talking about that game. And if he didn’t, I would take a desperate measure. See, I explained, the other night I was on the Internet, and I found a secret word that would make anyone who heard it forget everything they knew about Plants vs. Zombies. All I had to do was say that word and he would forget everything he’d ever learned, every good time he’d ever had. I would throw out his drawings, too, and then I would delete the game from my iPad and that would be that.